The Five Stages of Grief and Support for Moving Through Them

What have become known as the five stages of grief were initially detailed in 1961 by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross as five emotions that people pass through when faced with their own approaching death.

However, over time, it has been found that these stages are just as appropriate for understanding how we process the strong emotions generated by the loss of an important person in our lives.

In this article, we’re going to explore the five stages and explain how recognising them can help us deal with the grieving process.

What are the five stages of grief?

• Denial: Our initial reaction to losing someone is often to feel that it can’t be real. We can’t accept that it has happened or believe that we’ll never see that person again.
• Anger: Losing someone close can feel unjust or unfair. This is especially common when someone has died before their time or has had a difficult or painful passing.
• Bargaining: Death and grief are issues over which we have no control, but we often try to convince ourselves that if we did or had done things differently then there might be a different outcome.
• Depression: Sadness is perhaps the most common and most understandable reaction – it can also be the hardest to move on from.
• Acceptance: Finally, we come to terms with what has happened. It doesn’t necessarily mean that we have got over losing that person, but the intense emotions do lessen over time.

Coping with the five stages of grief

Time

It is important to remember that the concept of the five stages of grief is only a model – albeit a very valid one that is generally recognised as being an accurate portrayal of human emotions.

But we are all different and not everyone will follow the stages in the same order and some of us will take longer to move on from one to the next.

As with so much surrounding the subject of death, there’s no right or wrong – we should all aim to deal with it in the way that’s right for us.

Just remember that while it may seem like a cliché, time is a healer and things will get better eventually.

Be kind to yourself

It is okay to be a bit selfish when it comes to dealing with death, but try to avoid things that might feel like a short-term fix but which will more likely make things worse in the long run.

For instance, using drink or drugs to numb your emotions is almost always going to be a bad idea – try to focus instead on things that make you feel better.

Counselling

Asking for help to get you through your grief isn’t something to be ashamed of. We probably all feel that no one else could possibly understand the pain we’re going through, but that really isn’t true.

That could involve attending a bereavement group – such as a death café, as featured in our recent article – where you can share your feelings with others who are going or have been through the same thing.

Alternatively, a trained counsellor will be able to provide practical advice and support.

Here at Tithe Green Natural Burial, we understand that dealing with death and grief is always a personal thing and that what’s right for one person isn’t necessarily right for the next.

That’s one of the reasons why we offer natural burials and ashes interments for those who want their deaths to have a positive impact on the environment, as opposed to the damage that is often the result of traditional alternatives.

We have burial sites in Markfield in Leicestershire, Ketton in Rutland and Oxton in Nottinghamshire. Get in touch now to find out more.